Job Description

I want a job description.  A detailed, in depth, coverage of what I am expected to do.  This is what I have so far...

1. Teacher
2. Nurse
3. Psychologist
4. Assessment Creator
5. Webmaster (I swear Schoolnotes.com hates me!)
6. Transportation supervisor
7. Social Calendar Management
8. Anger/Crisis Management Director
9. Mind Reader/Doer
10. Babysitter
11. Adult Daycare Worker
12. Director of Fundraising

 All of the above must be completed in a pleasant, smiling mood with extreme efficiency and diligence.  Mistakes will not be tolerated.

Got anything to add?